Survival
of the
Chemists and
Their Users
&
Abusers!
In
a REAL
evolutionary
world of
"survival
of the
fittest":
dog-eat-dog
and
clown-eat-mime,
my husband
and lover
believe that
I am just
too darn
cute, witty
and
smart to
allow any
man, woman
or ape to
allow me to
die or
suffer. That
may be. But,
with the DEFECTIVE
asthmatic
and insanity
DNA coursing
through my
family tree,
I would be LUCKY
to get
past the
mimes
(unless, of
course, the SPACE
ALIENS
flew us off
to a better WORLD).
When
I worked at
the Science
Museum of
Virginia,
some local
chemical
company
passed out
PROPAGANDA
to children
in the form
of stickers
that read:
BETTER
LIVING
THROUGH
CHEMISTRY
I
didn't
really think
about it at
the time,
but after my
first ACID
TRIP 3 years
later, I
began to
believe it.
What if I
hadn't been
put in that
oxygen tank
when I was
2-years-old?
What if my
brother and
I hadn't
been given
all of those
allergy
shots, or
his lung
re-inflated.
And
anti-depressant
medications
have helped
us both from
committing SUICIDE. I
vote on the
side of TECHNOLOGICAL
help over
charm. CHARM
hasn't
helped
either of us
keep a full
time job!
I
just HATE
those people
who get a
headache and
when you
offer them
an aspirin
they say,
"No
thanks, I
hate to put
DRUGS in my
body."
"Okay,
you SUFFER
for the rest
of the
day." I usually
give them a
look of
DISDAIN and
immediately
check them
off in the
IDIOT
category.
I
don't want
to SUFFER
for one
moment. If I
think I may
even
possibly be
considering
a headache,
I rush to
that IBUPROFEN!
My mother
has in grown
toenails. If
you actually
want to see
how
disgusting
they are, CLICK
HERE!
The CAPTAIN
OF THE TOES,
(the big
toe) NAIL
grows very
thick and
grows,
TWISTING
into your FLESH
as far
as it can.
It has to be
operated on
frequently.
Early in my
childhood, I
noticed
that my
Captains had
minds of
their own as
well. At a
very young
age, I
started
clipping
their edges
almost down
to their CUTICLES.
This is not
very ATTRACTIVE.
But, this
will show to
what lengths
I will go to
to ease
FUTURE
sufferings.
I
ponder these
things as I
take snort a
CRYSTAL
substance up
my nose.
Chemistry
has kept me ALIVE, sane
and HAPPY.
If you don't
believe in
better
living
through
chemistry,
good luck
with the
headaches
and mimes.
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