It's Funny How Depression Undresses You

I have decided to go BRA-LESS. And, I'm not one of those gals that should. I remember when I was in the 7th grade, I was STRONGLY urged by my MOTHER and BEST FRIEND to start wearing a bra. I was given a "TRAINING BRA." To this day, I wish I understood what there was to train. Maybe I was MISTAKEN, but my BREASTS were not out of CONTROL. They were quite tiny at the time.

Anyway, the trainer I was given was this little ITTY-BITTY yellow thing with ROUGH ruffles thingies that scratched my back, breasts, NIPPLES and shoulders. So, in between classes, I went to the BATHROOM to remove this HIDEOUS device. Well, I suppose that the (obviously male) manufacturers of this TORTURE device thought it would be CUTE to hide the clips in between the teensy tiny ruffles. Time being of the essence, I had to SQUIRM and SHIMMY my way out of it and hide it inside my JEANS pocket.

I never told my mother this story until a few years ago, which I guess time makes TRAGEDY more HUMOROUS. (As Alan Alda ELOQUENTLY describes humor in WOODY ALLEN'S movie "Crimes and Misdemeanors", "If it BENDS, it's funny, if it BREAKS, it isn't. Tragedy + time = humor. Back then, you couldn't make fun of ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S death.")

Finally, I was taken to an actual LINGERIE store where I was shown how to measure myself and find a well fitting NON-training bra.

... Back to the story at hand ...

I have decided to go bra-less. I have so many ISSUES and SADNESS and other things to worry about. Why should I SUBJECT my breasts to BOUNDARIES and CONSTRICTIONS? Shouldn't there be some part of my BODY that shouldn't have to worry about looking right? Well, I have chosen my BREASTS! And, by God, they are HAPPY!!!!