Lost
and Hanging
My
anxiety
reached
an
all
time
high
today.
I
spent
several
hours
on
the
couch
hidden
under
a
blanket.
In
the
mean
time,
my
husband
had
to
clean
the
entire
apartment.
I
had
promised
all
week
that
I
would
help.
I
couldn't
move.
I
was
paralyzed.
He
was
annoyed
-
but
pretended
not
to
be.
He
said
he
wasn't
talking
because
it
was
a
big
job
and
he
was
tired.
When
he
returned
from
seeing
his
father's
girlfriend's
son
who
is
also
in
town,
I
was
asleep.
I
was
curled
up
with
my
dog.
All
I
remember
was
him
saying
he
was
leaving
to
pick
up
his
father
at
the
airport.
Would
I
join
them
for
dinner?
The
anxiety
returned.
There
was
no
set
time
we
would
meet,
no
idea
where
we
were
going,
etc.,
etc.
I
had
to
say
no.
It
was
too
much.
We
had
discussed
me
going
to
only
the
events
I
felt
comfortable
with,
but
it
must
not
be
true.
He
left
without
giving
me a
kiss.
David
hides
his
feelings
well,
but
I
knew
I
was
creating
complications.
I
made
him
return
for
that
kiss.
If
I AM
tired
of
being
like
this,
why
shouldn't
others?
I
used
to
be
responsible
and
reliable.
I
would
make
the
plans
and
everything
would
run
smoothly.
I
used
to
be
sociable.
Now,
I
hide
under
a
blanket.
How
long
can
someone
else
put
up
with
this?
It's
been
a
year
and
a
half.
I am
getting
worse.
I
have
been
switched
on
and
off
so
many
meds,
and
nothing
is
working.
The
only
substance
that
helps
is
cocaine.
I am
trying
to
figure
out
what
I
can
sell
on
Ebay
to
get
the
money.
I am
so
desperate.
It
hurts
so
bad.
I
am
lost
and
desperate.
I
understand
why
I
would
be
abandoned.
Don't
leave
me.
Don't
leave
me.
I
am
so
afraid.
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