February 28, 2002 - 3:46 a.m.

I wish that I was one of those people who could speak/write in the 3rd person vernacular. It seems to get you off the hook. For example:

"Lynn says 'to hell with the diet - let's have 3 desserts'."

"Lynn is quite pissed off at the moment. Can you call her at a later time when you might annoy her less."

"Lynn often thinks that if she were omnipotent, she would peel back your skin and play xylophone on your back bone."

Things like that. I think I'll give it a whirl.